So there is a bad guy in the yard, lets turn on all of the sprinklers heads at once!!!
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Try labelling your zones, Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear. Worked for Goldilocks 
sorry for the bad joke, could not resist.
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I think having all of the sprinklers on would be a deterrent to vandals. Having a motion sensor integrated into the sprinkler system (like a yard light) would discourage vandals. No guarantees but sometimes it might work. Yard lights on motion sensors work often. Getting wet instead of getting light might even work better. Ask a burglar, or a bear.
@pixelpadre, sounds like a fun idea for your security system, but irrigation systems are not designed to run all zones at once. Your water supply will not likely provide enough water flow at the required water pressure to activate all of your irrigation heads if you try to run all zones.
I have no experience with integrations with my Rachio, but if you had a ‘smart’ motion detector associated with each zone, perhaps you could switch on the zone closest to where the intruder was. In my yard, most intruders would simply walk up the driveway to the front door without getting wet.
I am very familiar with physics and the laws of thermodynamics as it applies to water pressure. Obviously, there is a limit to how many sprinklers can be running simultaneously. A special sequence of short cycles could be used in conjunction with a motion sensor to discourage vandals and burglars. If yard lights discourage unwanted visitors I think sprinklers would be even more effective. Burglars would likely move on to drier turf quickly.
HA! That’s the best reasoning for running all zones at once that I’ve heard in awhile 
I wonder if you could accomplish something similar with an integration of sorts. I’m thinking something with IFTTT and Nest/Ring/other security cam?
If security camera detects bad guy, run all Rachio zones for 1 minute each? Not exactly what you’re looking for but could be an option! 
A lot of users have that setup for deer and rabbits who like to attack the gardens (or when the kids get home from school 
)
I dont have a problem looking for a solution. I have a solution looking for a problem.
This should be a no-brainer for Rachio.
Alternatively, miniature hi powered weather proof speakers could be hard wired to the zone control boxes to sound warnings, verbal or otherwise. They would not be easy to pinpoint for the bad guy.